your L is not F

Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML

You’re stupid.

Serious. Other people have come down on you for not knowing that flammable and inflammable is the same thing. I won’t. I think it seems like an pretty natural mistake, considering how opposite words usually are build. That’s not what makes you stupid. What makes you stupid, is that you failed to realize, that even if the semen couldn’t catch fire, the sock would. How, how, how could you not understand that your sock would turn on fire? How, how, how stupid are you really?

Today, I enlisted for The Navy because my Boy Scout leader encouraged me. He fought in Korea and is a real inspiration. I asked him what motivated him to join The Navy. He said he was drunk and didn’t remember joining until he was called up. FML

Even when you do things for the wrong, it can lead to good things. Even if your Boy Scout leader enlisted for the wrong reason, the fact that he got there might be what made him an inspiration. You should understand this. The fact that you don’t, makes me believe that you will never ever be even half the man he is.

Also, I think you’re kind of stupid for enlisting to begin with, but that’s just my personal feeling toward this war and weapons stuff.

Today, my girlfriend went on a trip to see her “sick” father with her young attractive male friend. I asked if I could come too but she said there isn’t enough room in the car. I didn’t mind till I realized that she drove a 4 door SUV and her father died 2 years ago. FML

I don’t know which one of you two are more stupid, you for not remembering her daddy’s dead (how do you forget that?!) or her for using that excuse. Stupid people. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Today, while reading some chemistry notes I came across the term “solid water”. Completely stumped, I asked myself “what the hell is solid water??”. Then I heard my little cousin say “ice”. I’m a 4th year science major in university. He still checks the closet for monsters. FML

Holy crap, dude, you gotta be exceptionally stupid.

Either that, or everybody can and do make simple little mistakes like this. It is no big deal. It does not mean anything. You should stop whining, shut the fuck up, because complaining about silly little shit like this is what really makes you look stupid. Your L is not F.

Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML

You’re stupid.